Sylv's Pun Thread
A gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures. Doctors tell us...
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Why is Saudi Arabia free of mental illness? There are nomad people there.
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Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself?
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There were two ships. One had red paint, one had blue paint. They collided. At last report, the survivors were marooned.
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When I was in the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I asked, "Are you two an item?"
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A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
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A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says, "You can come in, but don't start anything!"
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There was a farmer who noticed a fly buzzing around the cow's ear while he was milking it. Next thing you know, the fly was in the bucket of milk. The farmer says, "In one ear, and out the udder!"
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Two Eskimos, out to fish in their canoe got and decided to build a small fire in the bottom of their canoe to keep warm. Of course the boat caught fire and sank, proving that you can't have your...
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The man who survived both pepper spray and mustard gas is now well seasoned.
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When a woman sees her first grey hair, she usually thinks she'll dye.
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A bear walked into a bar and says, "I'll have a beer......and some of those peanuts." The bartender says, "Why the big pause?"
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The store promised a free abacus with a purchase, but I wouldn't count on it.
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I made a batch of fish eye soup, it should see me through the week.
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